?

Log in

 
 
26 January 2011 @ 10:45 pm
2011 post referring to 2010 events subtitled: "i ain't even mad"  
Hello World!
Before I embark on another one of many misadventures this year, i'd like to wrap up a few things relating to previous posts. I know all my readers are chomping at the bit to know what happened, you voyeuristic bastards. I keep my audience waiting too long. I apologize.

Amazingly, I am alive.

You'd think after being burned by christian bale's twin who happened to be a poet, secret millionaire, misanthrope with the same world views as me, i'd be upset but . no murder-fake suicide, not (too) many tears. just a "welp, that's how it goes". I'm actually stunned at my reaction, and dare I say, proud of myself.

I was warned not to go into it, by friends, by my conscious, but most importantly by the man himself. when that happens you can't help but put up a shield. Somewhat permeable to still get in the compliments and "i love yous" but a shield nonetheless. that little voice in my head kept telling me "enjoy it while it lasts because it's almost over..."

He left the country (they don't have access to livejournal in China, right?) so i have no chance of seeing him again which is a blessing. One thing I've learned from ALL relationships is that it's better to be the one that loves the other a little bit less. It's the only way to go. The bitch of it is, usually it's too late once you realize which one you are.

did you know i can see the future? i can't change it though; I even stopped trying. I know how it ends but i still have to follow all the steps. no detours allowed.

So my friends, in a few months i'll update you on my current (mis)adventure.

till then, be well.
 
 
Current Mood: pensivepensive